The scourge of ...

After nearly four years, the blog LIVES!

First off, for those who may not have known, my daughter Becky survived her injuries and has overcome the obstacles that came from her accident.  She's a miracle, and I am blessed to still have her in my life each and every day.

So after four years of not writing in this blog ... some of you were grateful for the break, I'm sure ... What possible subject could have gripped me so fervently as to get me to write another chapter?

Vasovagal episodes.

Sounds terrible, doesn't it? Almost makes you wonder if there's a national charity dedicated to the eradication of this blight on our society. (There's not.)  Could also be one of those rare conditions only contracted by a few celebrities and defendants on trial who have used all the other reasonable defenses.  "Jurors, you can't convict my client.  If only you could imprison the vasovagal episodes he struggles with."

I bring up vasovagal episodes because I suffer from them. Please do not take pity on me (as if) or send donations to the research group dedicated to vasovagal eradication (there ain't one).

Let me save you one quick Google search. Vasovagal episodes, in short, are fainting spells.

That's right, fainting spells. The vapors. Checking out before check-out time. Taking a temporary nap.  Harmless, unless you hit your head or injure yourself on the trip from upright to prone.

But these things are a pain to live with.

Doctors will tell you they are caused by a variety of triggers, some of which are stress, exertion, improper diet, skipping meals, dehydration (the last two of which, apparently, were my triggers). Sometimes a trigger is not apparent. What happens is that your blood pressure drops significantly.  You feel hot and sweaty (and not for good reason). You get dizzy and the room might spin (like vertigo, but not the Hitchcock movie). Parts of you go numb that work better when they are not numb.  (I'm talking about my hands.  Your mileage may vary.)

In my case, and in the cases of others who are heart patients, any medical condition I face has to be looked at in the light of "it might be his heart." So when my last episode struck earlier this week, the good doctors took the safe route and stuck me in the hospital overnight to monitor my heart and run some tests. None of the tests showed a problem and I was released yesterday.

Living with this is really not hard when you consider what some folks have to live with - I don't have to jab myself with a needle, I can do pretty much what I want to do and I can ward off symptoms by eating regularly, eating right, and staying hydrated. But having this particular malady does leave the sufferer feeling like a bit of a wimp.  After all, one doctor of mine described vasovagal episodes as something similar to how certain breeds of goat can be literally scared to the point that they fall over, lie motionless for a minute, then get up and go on their goatly way.

It makes me feel cowardly, which I hate feeling. That is also not correct. But I can't imagine they are going to cast me as any swashbuckling heroic lead any time soon.  Can you imagine Han Solo facing a dozen stormtroopers and just falling out? Would you see that movie? Could the Force be with a weenie like that?

Since I am a heart patient, it is really important for me to have nitroglycerin pills with me in case I show the signs of a heart attack coming on.  On Monday, when this most recent vasovagal episode (I still cannot bring myself to call them fainting spells) happened, I mistakenly thought it was a sign of a pending angina and took one of those magic little pills.

Mistake.

Those pills drop your blood pressure even more.  As a result, I made my symptoms a hundred times worse.  I pity the poor EMT that had to clean up that ambulance. I spent most of the next three hours on a Magic Carpet Ride, on which I will never book another trip.

So, sadder but wiser, I continue on knowing I'd better keep fed and drink plenty of liquids.  And if you see me, don't get me upset.  I might faint on you.